I had a wonderful experience after I came home from the retreat which I wouldlike to share with you.
Retreat experiences open us up to seemore clearly.
Mine was an ego freeing experience!
Some call ego our small self. I recently discovered my deeper ego. She, this small self, had been hiding somewhere inside of me and suddenly she was there and I knew it was her who had been giving me so much pain and suffering.
» You’re not good enough. » she would tell me
« You don’t dress as well as others. «
« What’s wrong with you? «
« Don’t say anything. You’ll just make a fool of yourself. »
Here she was! And I smiled and welcomed her. I was glad to see the form that went with the voice. So, since then, each time I saw her or heard her, I gently said « That’s OK. You can go away now. »
« Go ahead. I don’t need you. »
By seeing her as a separate self, not the « real me », I just smile and don’t take seriously the things shes says to me. They are not true. They are just things made up from past experiences, things I thought were true. This has been fun!
I feel softer, freer and more open now.